DO it.

Ok, I'm back. Haven't really been anywhere, just living my life. Haven't really been working this very hard, just living my life. Haven't really lost any pounds, just living my life. I really should do better at living my life. It would be different, I think, if the way I've just been living my life brought me some sort of supreme satisfaction, but it really hasn't. I mean, there are definitely high points, but overall, nothing great. So I'm writing here that I'm re-dedicating myself to this task, to do better and live better.

Egads. Here I go.

Voices Carry

Whew! I'm just back from a long walk. And before that, a long week of eating and drinking everything that came within ten feet of my head. Why, you don't ask? Well, that's an excellent question that I'm pretending you've inquired about. You're very astute, you. One would think that large enticements of money and the chance to gloat would propel one into a nonstop world of smart eating and daily exercise. But that hasn't exactly been the case. It's been more like "Well, the state fair only comes once a year so I should be able to eat whatever I want because it's just once" followed by "I don't get to spend weekends with my friends/cousins/self very often so I should be able to eat whatever I want." These infamous refrains dovetail nicely with my midweek excuses, such as "I worked a long day and it was stressful so I should be able to eat whatever I want" and "I'm so tired from not sleeping well that I can't possibly be expected to not eat whatever I want." Yes, astute reader, I understand how terribly irrational this all sounds, but I'd be lying if I didn't admit hearing these things from somewhere on some level sometimes. My problem - well, one of my problems - is that I don't challenge the voices in my head.* I don't dig deep to figure out why those voices take precedent over the more reasonable voices that are, admittedly, quieter, but are there nonetheless. I just take the loudest voices at face value and go with them because it's the easiest thing to do at the time. It requires no effort, it requires little time. But, of course, that laziness will ultimately always bite me in the butt, like it did this week at my weigh-in with Aaron. Not only did I not lose any weight, but I gained a couple of pounds. I know, I know, astute reader, you're right. I need to start listening harder to the quieter voices inside. I should know that if the loud mouths in my real life are almost always the complete jackasses, chances are it goes the same in my head.

*Note: I don't actually hear voices in my head. This is for dramatic clarity only.