I love ducks and I adore frogs. However, I hate both of them when they call out all night long as I try to sleep in a tent with my head just feet away from their endless warbling. And that is why I am extra happy that I no longer leave home without a good pair of earplugs. For heavy duty needs, like camping on my cousin's gorgeous pond, chock-full of talkative animals and reptiles, I've found it's also good to throw some Codeine into the mix.This weekend a large part of my super fun and huge family got together in the stunningly gorgeous countryside of my cousin's home in central Wisconsin. I think Minnesota is beautiful, but Wisconsin is really something special. If it weren't for their pesky heritage of serial killers, they'd really have it all going on. Still, we enjoyed serial killer-free kayaking, swimming, bean bag toss, drinking, eating, and even an homage to the show "Survivor" that pitted the red team against the blue team in various physical activities! So you can see how tired a person might be after a full day in the sun. Imagine yourself nestling into your sleeping bag inside your tent at the side of pond where, during the day, peace reigns supreme. But now it's night and all of the animals are wide awake, talking to one another, possibly about their anger at the hordes of invaders suddenly living on their property, sitting around the campfire and laughing. Tree frogs burble loudly above while bullfrogs and ducks chatter away in the water below. There is little chance of slumber for a light sleeper like me, until I take a swig of Codeine and force a pair of spongy little plugs into my ear canals. Most of the big sounds are gone, and all I can hear is the faint quacking of those damn Aflac ducks off somewhere in the distance. Still, sleep becomes reality.
This morning, after a full eight uninterrupted hours of sleep, I found out just how good those earplugs and Codeine worked. It turns out that at some point late into the night, a neighbor's hunting dog had gotten loose from its home and found its way to my cousin's property. Imagine the anticipatory excitement this trained bird dog felt upon finding a flock of slow and not particularly intelligent ducks just sitting there like, well, like sitting ducks. Apparently it chased after them, thrashing about in the pond on the chase all while my cousins, still drinking around the campfire, screamed and threatened the dog with bodily harm for rushing the ducks. Finally the dog was subdued, before it could do any permanent damage and eat a duck before my cousins got to. But then this morning, just hours after that while I snoozed in my tent, the noisy ducks were innocently swimming around their home, their pond, when suddenly one was grabbed and pulled underwater, not unlike a surfer on the ocean when a shark takes a bite. The ducks went crazy when their brother, or maybe it was their sister, was violently pulled from their close flock and dragged under the dank water by a hungry snapping turtle! Apparently the turtle, about the size of a toilet seat cover, found the bird would be a juicy little breakfast and went for its leg under the water. The ducks made a huge ruckus, capturing the attention of my cousins who screamed at the turtle to let go. Snapping turtles are notoriously mean and tough and difficult to mess with, so nobody was excited to try to fight it on its own turf. But finally, after pulling the duck under on and off for several minutes, someone grabbed a kayak paddle and beat the turtle with it, all the while folks yelling and the ducks going crazy with fear. The snapping turtle surprisingly relented after taking quite a shell beating from that paddle. The duck survived, though with a pronounced limp, and returned to its flock to continue swimming around and making noise and keeping campers awake.
All of this occurred mere feet from me, and I never heard a thing. I slept like a rock through it all and couldn't believe it when I heard the stories this morning. Now all I need to do is find myself an Elvis doctor who will prescribe me Codeine on demand and sleep shall no longer be my nemesis. Any chance there's an unscrupulous doctor reading this?
This morning, after a full eight uninterrupted hours of sleep, I found out just how good those earplugs and Codeine worked. It turns out that at some point late into the night, a neighbor's hunting dog had gotten loose from its home and found its way to my cousin's property. Imagine the anticipatory excitement this trained bird dog felt upon finding a flock of slow and not particularly intelligent ducks just sitting there like, well, like sitting ducks. Apparently it chased after them, thrashing about in the pond on the chase all while my cousins, still drinking around the campfire, screamed and threatened the dog with bodily harm for rushing the ducks. Finally the dog was subdued, before it could do any permanent damage and eat a duck before my cousins got to. But then this morning, just hours after that while I snoozed in my tent, the noisy ducks were innocently swimming around their home, their pond, when suddenly one was grabbed and pulled underwater, not unlike a surfer on the ocean when a shark takes a bite. The ducks went crazy when their brother, or maybe it was their sister, was violently pulled from their close flock and dragged under the dank water by a hungry snapping turtle! Apparently the turtle, about the size of a toilet seat cover, found the bird would be a juicy little breakfast and went for its leg under the water. The ducks made a huge ruckus, capturing the attention of my cousins who screamed at the turtle to let go. Snapping turtles are notoriously mean and tough and difficult to mess with, so nobody was excited to try to fight it on its own turf. But finally, after pulling the duck under on and off for several minutes, someone grabbed a kayak paddle and beat the turtle with it, all the while folks yelling and the ducks going crazy with fear. The snapping turtle surprisingly relented after taking quite a shell beating from that paddle. The duck survived, though with a pronounced limp, and returned to its flock to continue swimming around and making noise and keeping campers awake.
All of this occurred mere feet from me, and I never heard a thing. I slept like a rock through it all and couldn't believe it when I heard the stories this morning. Now all I need to do is find myself an Elvis doctor who will prescribe me Codeine on demand and sleep shall no longer be my nemesis. Any chance there's an unscrupulous doctor reading this?
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1 comment:
I will have to get ear plugs. I was also in lovely Wisconsin. No sleep since it sounded like monkeys, elephants, Rhinos and some bird calls I've never heard decided to party in the woods from 2:00 am till 6:00 am! Damn nature.
K-hag
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